Issues
by Beta5200
Summary: The Vocaloids have a lot of issues. What if someone just happened to video tape them?


**Issues**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Vocaloid. Though they're more than awesome!**_

_A fourteen year old girl with pink hair that reached her waist (leaving a tuft to cover the left side of her face with normal bangs on the other side) and sharp red eyes smirked to herself as she set up cameras in strategic areas to watch and observe all the chaos the Vocaloids make when they're alone in their houses…_

**First… With the Kagamines…**

"Why do I keep dying?" Len screeched, shaking his sister Rin. "WHY DO I ALWAYS DIEEEEE?"

Rin shouted in surprise, then grabbed her brother's shoulders in return. "Yeah, well, you think I _want_ to be paired up with an idiot brother for the sake of twincest only to have him die all the time? I'll never be properly paired up with any other vocaloid, thanks to you! At least you've got Akita Neru, and 96neko! And who is 96neko anyway? She looks like a guy!"

Now it was Len's turn to scream again. "The worst thing that happens to you is you get paired together with your twin brother. The worst thing that happens to _me _is that _I_ get paired up with a _guy_! (no offence to homosexuals)"

Rin pointed at her ribbon. "HOW MUCH STARCH DO YOU USE ON MY RIBBON WHEN YOU WASH IT? THIS THING IS _FLOATING!"_

Steam began to blow out of Len's ears. "It's not _MY_ fault you don't WASH YOUR OWN THINGS!"

After several more hours of screaming at each other, they were finally aware of the small camera with the flashing red dot. Rin looked into it one last time and sighed.

"Why are we losing to everyone even though we have the most fans?" she asked.

"I know right! I mean, they would even go to the trouble of leaving a camera to stalk us!"

"I know right!"

_The girl smirked at their huge egos, and then moved on to the next tape._

* * *

**Second… With Miku**

Miku was going around her _yellow_ room with a _pink _bed that had _red_ pillows and a _purple_ chair. She plopped down near her _pink _window sill on her white-_gray_ sofa and sighed before shouting up at the sky, "WHY DO SOME OF MY FANS THINK MY HAIR IS BLUEEEEEEEEEEE?"

She continued on her rant to herself, mostly consisting of "That blue bastard" and "_GREEN_ onions" and "WHY IS MY HAIR EVEN GREEEEEEEEEEEEN?"

Yup, fans. Our Miku was having color issues.

She began to throw a _hot pink_ pillow into her _yellow_ walls repeatedly, all the time screaming about how she thought green was such an "ungirly color!"

_While she was watching Miku continue to rant to herself, the girl fingered her own hair and wondered how in the world did it come out naturally pink. On the same train of thought, how were her eyes naturally red? Well, you gotta love anime._

_She pondered over Miku's tape, then went to the next one; Meiko and Kaito's._

**Third… I lumped Meiko and Kaito together because I felt like it…**

Kaito was suffering from blue overdose while Meiko fingered her own short brown hair, wondering how lucky she was that her hair color was the only _normal_ one for her age. Kaito looked at his shrine to the blue goddess (…?) and, to his horror, found a _red_ ladybug crawling on it.

"NOOOO!" He screamed. "Meiko, get your horrifying _RED_ bugs out of my perfect room! AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!"

Meiko scowled deeply and flipped open her compact mirror. Perhaps she should dye it red, she mused, just to fit in with everyone else. After all, she thought she would look pretty good with red hair. Red was her favorite color. She loved red. Have you noticed yet?

_The girl facepalmed at the image of Kaito frantically running around his blue room with a huge ladybug on his head while Meiko was absent mindedly letting out the cage of red ladybugs that the two had planned to dye blue. Nothing new there; all old news._

* * *

**Fourth… Luka and Teto…**

"So…"

"So…"

The two pink headed teenage girls sat with their knees to their chests, staring at each other. It was Teto who broke first.

"How did you get such _curves?_ I mean, even Meiko doesn't look that _curvaceous! _And if she does, she doesn't show it off like you do! Just STOP!"

Luka, who was now looking at her long _soft _pink hair, shouted "How did you get such _hot_ pink hair? Mine looks so light, and innocent, and definitely not _alluring_ the way I WANT IT TO BE! Give me that bottle, I'm dyeing my hair!"

"No way!" Teto screamed, hugging the bottle to her chest. "You've got all the alluring stuff you need! Why don't you just go out and seduce random people?"

And so their verbal battle went on, Luka jealous of Teto's hair, Teto jealous of Luka's curves.

_The girl had a quizzical look on her face. She just couldn't figure out why Teto was hugging a bottle of alcohol and what it had to do with dyeing hair and their faces were so red. Most of all, though, she couldn't figure out why the bottle was so close to being empty. Perhaps they were drinking while she was watching Kaito and Meiko…_

* * *

**Fifth… Akita Neru and Yowane Haku…**

Yowane Haku was, too, fingering her white hair while Akita Neru texted on her phone.

"Oh my god, I just can't get why my hair is so whitish grayish!" screamed Haku. "I'M NOT OLD!"

"You keep telling yourself that," Neru muttered, still looking at her phone.

Haku looked like she was about to cry. "What? But, I… I…" She burst into tears and ran into the bathroom with a bottle of black hair dye and closed the door. Even thought the bathroom was two floors away from Neru's room (which may or may not have one or two pictures of Len), you could still hear Haku's crying.

Neru finally looked up from her phone, where she was texting one of her besties. The camera zoomed in to show that the bestie was talking about how she was "going to so totally get together with the hooottest guy at school 3 3"

Neru looked around, trying to locate the source of Haku's misery. "What happened here?" she asked aloud.

_The girl raised her eyebrows, still wondering at how no one else had found her cameras. She had also briefly wondered at the sound of Haku's voice, but of course it was loud. She was a singer after all._

* * *

**Sixth… Gumi and Gakupo…**

Gumi had locked herself in the bathroom and was fingering her hair as well. "How come everyone else gets a unique color," she wondered. "Yet I get stuck with the same hair color as Miku, despite the fact that we're not family"

Outside, Gakupo's hair was a mess that resembled an afro. He pounded on the door. "Let me in, Gumi!" he pleaded. "Please, I'm begging you! Before someone comes to the house!"

Gumi was still musing in the bathroom, completely oblivious to Gakupo's misery. She was shaking a bottle of black dye, and was contemplating on using it.

Outside, Gakupo began crying anime tears and started flooding the hallway outside of the bathroom. To his horror, the doorbell rang and when he peeked outside, he could see a red-faced wobbling Luka. Trying desperately to comb his tangled hair, he began screaming and pounding on the door.

Gumi hesitantly raised the bottle to her green head, only to realize that it was empty. She poked her head outside. "Gakupo!" she called. "We need new black hair dye! This one is emp…ty…" To her surprise, Gakupo wasn't there. Instead there was some random person with a HUGE purple afro that coffered his face. She could do nothing but stare at it and scream.

"AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" Still screaming, she closed her eyes and threw the bottle of hair dye into the strange man (Gakupo)'s face. Luka, who was still drunk, walked back to the house she shared with Teto to try and convince Teto to hand over the hot pink hair dye (alcohol.)

* * *

_The girl fell out of her chair, laughing hysterically as the vocaloids screamed at each other and suffered from their various problems. But soon, a gigantic BOOM shook her door. Turning around, she saw the Vocaloids, standing there like a group of heroes resembling the Power Rangers. Every other vocaloid held a camera in their hands, and all of them had smirks. _

_Len stepped forward. "You don't possibly believe that none of us noticed, did you? After we found our camera, we instantly knew it was someone spying on us for their own amusement." As one, they stepped forward again. _

_But it was too late. The girl twirled once, then disappeared in a swirl of her own pink hair. Rin lunged forward, but only managed to grasp the girl's hair for a while before it slipped away. _

Somewhere far off, the girl was sitting in her chair, twirling around her chair and giggling as she watched her video tapes again.

**Sorry if you didn't quite like their different issues, or their attitudes. Truth be told, this story was written on a whim. Yeah... So, any criticism is welcome as well as helpful advice!**


End file.
